May 02, 2006

Flashback: Computer Layoff Payoff Alerts IRS

Today, at lunch, a colleague and I were recalling past jobs, and how struggling companies had elected to tell their employees the jig was up, and that their time had come to an end, sooner than expected. In the Silicon Valley, it's much easier to be laid off than fired, and in the late 1990s and early parts of this decade, it was incredibly easy, regardless of your job skills.

In January of 2001, having returned from a two-week mandatory holiday break, I was asked into a conference room and told that, due to financial shortages, the senior executives had foregone pay the last month or so, and that they were extending me the same courtesy, at least until they could close necessary funding to keep the company afloat, at which point I would be paid and lose nothing. I was assured that the funding was imminent and investors were very interested. Silly me.

A week or so later, again I was summoned into the conference room, and was told that the funds never were to come, and that was the end. It wasn't just me, but all of marketing, business development and sales had been let go as well - as the company would be sustained solely with engineers until the product could be sold to the highest bidder.

Doing the math in my head, I offered to barter with the cash-strapped firm, taking my Power Macintosh G3 (Blue and White) tower and monitor with me at the end of the day, instead of a paycheck covering the year to date. It was a good deal for us both - they wouldn't have to pay, and I got a new machine setup for the house. So, at the day's conclusion, I packed up everything and lugged it to the parking lot, thinking that was the end of that, and I never returned to the office where I had worked for two years.

I very rapidly found a job, less than three weeks later, and began anew with a new adventure. But the following March, the previous firm struck back, sending me a W-2 tax form to cover the value of the computer and monitor, the very day after I had submitted my taxes with the new W-2 from the new employer, thinking myself ahead of the game.

This snafu forced me to get tax adjustment forms, resubmit and pay the remaining tax owed, something I wasn't feeling so charitable about, having been let go by the company just a year prior. Worst of all, the IRS didn't correctly file everything, though they certainly cashed my checks right away, so in the next year, I started to get letters saying I had been found negligent and still owed the additional tax - now with fines due to lateness in payment. I wasn't even allowed to submit 2002's records until the 2001 data had been resolved. Several phone calls and letters later, the agency recognized I had been right all along, but the entire ordeal makes me think that next time I get laid off, I'll take the cash, including accrued vacation time and severance, thank you very much.

Listening to ''Slowblow (Darren Price Mix)'', by Depeche Mode (Play Count: 8)

CDC Issues Virus Warning

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of Sexually Transmitted Disease. The disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior.

The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim and pronounced "gonna re-elect him." Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed for the past four years.

Cognitive characteristics of individuals infected include: anti-social personality disorders, delusions of grandeur with messianic overtones, extreme cognitive dissonance, inability to incorporate new information, pronounced xenophobia and paranoia, inability to accept responsibility for own actions, cowardice masked by misplaced bravado, uncontrolled facial smirking, ignorance of geography and history, tendencies towards evangelical theocracy, categorical all-or-nothing behavior.

Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed at how this destructive disease originated only a few years ago from a bush found in Texas.

Listening to ''Black Day'', by Depeche Mode (Play Count: 6)

May 01, 2006

New Apple Commercials Tout the Mac

Apple has grown dramatically in recent years, primarily on the back of the iPod, but more quietly, they've continued to advance their Mac OS X operating system, and develop new hardware - recently moving to Intel processors, and even introducing the ability to run Windows on their MacIntel lines - should you want to. But while this has happened, Apple has not been very vocal about promoting the Macintosh - which at times has driven the Mac faithful nutty, as they've called for the Cupertino-based company to turn up the heat on Windows, especially as Microsoft continues to struggle with advancing to their next-generation operating system, Vista.

Today, those calls were answered, when Apple debuted a series of commercials with the theme of "Get a Mac", all of which can be found on the company's Web site at: http://www.apple.com/getamac/. The ads feature the same white background seen in their "Switch" campaign of a few years back, and highlight two actors - one, a stiff businessman who represents a PC, and the other, a hip young guy, who is the Mac. While slightly amusing at best, the commercials don't come out and grab you the way the iPod series has, and they sniff of the superiority complex some detractors assign to Macintosh users. I don't know how well they are going to play to business folks at all, or anybody over 30 who can't identify with a goatee wearing hipster.

To see for yourself, go to any of the ads. Viruses | Restarting | Better | iLife | Network | WSJ

Listening to ''The Silence'', by Sasha & John Digweed (Play Count: 2)

Morning Notes: May 1, 2006

More in an irregularly occurring series...

"The Colbert Report"'s Stephen Colbert played host to the annual White House Correspondents' dinner, and he made headlines in savaging Bush, who started out by chuckling, and ended the performance stone-faced, according to reports, as Colbert slammed him on Iraq, NSA wiretapping, low poll numbers and much more. (New York Times, Editor & Publisher, Crooks and Liars)

What's even more incredible is the news that Bush has declared himself above the law, selecting to circumvent more than 750 laws, according to a thorough report from the Boston Globe. When the laws are inconvenient, he goes around Congress, despite the fact it's Congress' job to determine the laws, and the President's role (traditionally) to enact them. (Boston Globe)

The Sacramento Kings defeated the San Antonio Spurs in game 4 of their first-round series, tying it at two games apiece. Though I don't mention the Kings here nearly as much as I do the A's, I have followed the team for decades, and remember tuning in to their radio broadcasts when the team could muster up 27 or 29 wins a year. Now, they are perennially playoff bound. (ESPN, Sactown Royalty)

Guy Kawasaki follows on the top ten lies of engineers with an equally astute piece on the "Top Ten Lies of Marketers". While amusing, not all match my personal history, likely because he's more focused on markets where I've not had experience.

Much noise is being made about Yahoo! possibly taking on CNET in the technology news and product review space. I'm not exactly overwhelmed by their initial entry, finding it to be a big shell for ads, but it's getting good press thus far. (TechCrunch, GigaOM, New York Times)

Listening to ''Revolt - Freighttrain'', by Bedrock Rec. (Play Count: 3)